This chapter was particularly interesting because it
approached interpersonal communication ethics in a way which I never thought
of. I really like the fact that the book
recognizes that relationships change over time.
As I was reading this chapter, I started to apply the concepts to a
friendship that I have had that has recently caused me some problems.
According
to the book “relationships need space for growth and change…” (123). It
elaborates by discussing the role that distance plays in interpersonal
communication ethics. “Distance is
interpersonal space that nourishes the very thing that keeps persons together
interpersonally—relationship. The
distance between us is an ethical responsibility, not a flaw or limitation.”
(125). Recently my close friend from high school got married and had a
baby. She is no longer working or in
school, and she is attempting to revert back to how things were in our high
school days despite the fact that the situation, time, and our relationship has
changed. On several occasions she has
asked me to help her make decisions regarding her child which are not my place
to make, and I have had step back and reestablish appropriate boundaries. I
have reminded her that while I am her friend and want to support her in the
best way possible, I am not the child’s parent, and thus cannot make decisions
regarding her child. My relational
responsibility is in the role of friendship, and it is my friend and her
husband’s role to determine what is best for their child.
Previously
I had never thought about the role that distance played in interpersonal
communication ethics. I see now through
my own example that distance is actually a positive thing because it helps
people understand their responsibilities in a situation, and understand when
their relational responsibility changes or should change. I agree with how the book presents distance
as a lens through which we separate and determine our role and responsibility
in a given situation. Similar to the
example in the book, between the father and son, I can apply that to my
relationship with my younger sister. We
are only a few years apart, and the majority of times, I do consider her my
friend. However, there have been certain
situations where there is clear distance between the role of a sister, and the
role of a friend, and my relational responsibilities have shifted
accordingly. My relational responsibilities are as a sister first, and a friend second, and I have to keep that in mind when I approach a situation. My role as a sister often directly challenges the role of a friend, but it also helps me do what is necessary (which does not always match up with what my sister wants).
Good comment! Your examples were good. The example that one of the authors uses about relational responsibility in his interactions with his son really made the concept more clear. Your example about your friend who had a baby is also a good illustration of the concept of distance.
ReplyDeleteCaitlin, I wrote something similar in my blog post. I liked the examples that you used and how you tied it in with the our book's example. Although I did not think that distance was part of Interpersonal Communication, after reading the book and your blog post it made it that much clearer. Being that I have a younger sister as well, it is interesting that you bring up the fact that your responsibility is to be a sister first and a friend second, I had never thought about that before. Although we love to hang out and do girly things with each other, I still have to keep some distance when it comes to being too friendly per se. I was wondering if people who are not as good at communicating will be able to switch responsibilities for each relationship they have or not? Being a Communications major, I am pretty flexible in communicating and know how to shift responsibilities for most of my relationships.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your personal examples. It really provided a clear perspective on the concepts of distance and relationship responsibility that the book suggests within interpersonal communication ethics. I especially related to your sibling example with your sister. I believe that this can be translated into any relationship within a family context. For me, my mother and I are very close and we do a lot of activities together and we chat often; however, there are times that I have to separate our "friendship" because clearly she is my mother, but I personally believe that some conversations should NOT be had between mother and daughter!
ReplyDeleteThis is where I can relate to distance as being an important concept within interpersonal communication. As I appreciate the closeness I currently share with my mother, I also appreciate and honor the distance in order to maintain and feed the closeness of our relationship.