Before reading this chapter, I thought that interpersonal communication was going to be any sort of communication between individuals. However, the book was clear from the start that this is not the case. In the introduction it begins by stating that interpersonal communication finds its identity in the ethical mandate to protect and promote the good of the relationship, (120) and this interpersonal good is "attending to responsibility appropriate for a given relationship" (126). By the end of this chapter it was pretty clear by the number of times that it was repeated that interpersonal communication relies largely on the individuals responsibility to nourish the relationship rather than seeking agreement, self approval or personal preference. I feel like this is the difficult part. I know that I for one like feeling accepted and having agreement between another individual but sometimes, as pointed out in this chapter, that is not what defines interpersonal communication. For example, every now and then my boss will start telling us stories at work, which I don't really mind because it kills time, but some of the things he says make me feel uncomfortable, either because it goes against what I believe or it was borderline disgusting. Now, if I were to call him out on that and state what I think, who knows what effect that could have on our relationship. In this context, I feel like I should just keep my mouth shut and do what I am getting paid to do instead of asking him to reflect on what he said. Even though I do not agree with a lot of the stuff he says, it is not really stuff that is detrimental to the workplace relationship.
Kind of going off of this idea, interpersonal communication is very contextual. Although this book does a good job of focusing in on what it is, they also make the point of saying that it changes with the persons, time and the historical demands before us (128). We have multiple relationships in our lives whether it be with siblings, parents, coworkers, classmates, teammates, etc, and in each of those the demand will be different in order to build the relationship. If my brother were to say some of the things that my boss says, I would definitely call him out on it because he is four years younger than me, and I feel like I have the responsibility to be a role model for him. So my main take away was that when relationships change, so do the responsibilities and ethics surrounding communication between the individuals.
Chris, I think that you make a great point about how relationships change based off of the context and demands placed upon them. However i think that your example with your brother really shows this change more than any other one. Since right now one of the largest demands on the relationship, is to be a good role model, which was/is the same with my younger brother. But as we have grown and I would argue the same thing will happen with you, the relationship changes from one of being a role model to more equals. Out of everything that goes into interpersonal communication I think that demand is the most important, (after of course having the "good" set to being the relationship) since it is what provides the rules of the relationship.
ReplyDeleteYou mentioned my favorite examples of this, since I live it everyday, the relationship between teammates and coaches. For the purpose of the comment I am going to focus on teammates, since the demands of that relationship not only change everyday but during the day. Everyday the demand between a teammate and me is that we support each other in our lives but also in our sport. However depending on the context we are placed in the ethics of how to go about this support change drastically. Just as it does with your and my brother over time, this is just shortened to a few hours. So during practice, I might go about supporting my teammate by really getting after him, and making sure he does his job properly. However after that same practice the context changes and to fill the demands of it by being much nicer or getting them to focus on things other than sport.