Interpersonal communication is very different from the other aspects of communication that we have been studying. "Interpersonal communication finds its identity in the ethical mandate to to protect and promote the good of the relationship"(119). In interpersonal communication, a valuable relationship is present and the communication is revolving around preserving this relationship. To help achieve ethical interpersonal communication, the book outlines 3 metaphors of communication ethic praxis: interpersonal communication, distance and interpersonal responsibility (120-121). For interpersonal communication to thrive, a person needs to allow distance with one another and then, to maintain the relationship, a person has to enact interpersonal responsibility.
The book highlights a person leaving to college as a good example for interpersonal communication. Of course, I can really relate to this. People always tell you that you find out who your true friends are once you leave for college and I found this to be incredibly true. Once we are not in our friends everyday lives, the dynamic of the relationship changes quite dramatically. Sometimes, we realize we were only friends with a person for convenience or for some advantageous reasons, but as the book says, "interpersonal communication nourishes the relationship in order to bond responsibility between persons, not to further careers or advance political agendas" (122). Right off the bat, we eliminate some friends because one realizes the interpersonal relationship was actually false. But what about those friends and interpersonal relationships that do matter and important? How do we go about maintaining this relationship through the distance?
Distance may seem like a horrible, harmful thing for interpersonal communication, but actually, it is essential. It can be an easy mistake to start demand a certain type of communication with this new distance, but there is where communication becomes unethical and can be harmful. I felt myself demanding the same communication with my friends like before, but things are different, and this demand of similarity actually hurt our communication and relationship because it was unattainable. Instead, I needed to accept the new form of communication that emerged from this distance and use interpersonal responsibility to care for this important relationship. My lack and presence of interpersonal communication most definitely contributed to the success and failure of high school friendships.
So true. People often view distance as the villain to maintaining relationships, particularly romantic long-distance relationships, but distance is actually the true unveiler of the levels of interpersonal responsibility within a specific relationship. Distance, as you said, is essential to interpersonal communication in that it determines the presence or lack of interpersonal responsibility between the involved persons. I agree with you and the book in that the college effect on high school relationships is a great example of how to connect all three praxis together. Sometimes, it is difficult to conceptualize such theoretical ideas on their own and having a real-world example helps to understand. Plus, most people can relate to the experience of leaving for college and inadvertently leaving some friendships behind. I know I can. I have friendships that survived and some that didn't. It's a highly applicable feeling.
ReplyDeleteI also agree. I came to some similar conclusions in my own post. I thought that it was interesting that the book brings up distance, because it's not something that is usually talked about in interpersonal communication, and it's typically seen as a word with negative connotations particularly in our society. Whenever the romantic leads in a movie start throwing out the word "distance" it usually leads to a breakup or reveals some sort of turmoil in the relationship. I think people are uneasy with the idea of distance because our culture tells us that "we need to be around people all the time to demonstrate that we care about them," but distance is actually a necessity. It helps us determine what our responsibilities are in regards to a relationship. That's the reason I have never really felt comfortable with the phrase "two become one" related to marriage, because even in a marriage, there has to be some distance, two people do not actually meld together into one. I realize that is a symbolic saying, but it's a bit cringe worthy and the concept of distance has made me understand why. Our culture promotes closeness and recognizing the need for distance in relationships is not a concept people are generally receptive to. I feel the example of leaving for college is a good one, because it's very relatable and concrete, however, we can apply distance to the natural course of life and change regardless of whether people leave for college. As life and people continue to grow and change sometimes relationships do as well. We can't expect relationships to remain static (although we may want them to) as time, situations and individuals change, because it's unrealistic. Overall, I think we as a society need to become more comfortable with the concept of distance, and recognize the importance it plays in nurturing relationships.
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